Apologies up front, this isn’t really a happy post.
Once you get out of college, you usually have a lot of dreams, some of them wild, like moving to Hawaii and living there or buying season tickets to the Seahawks or something, and some of them not as much, like getting a nicer car or a bigger TV, but you stay realistic, work on what you need, and for the dreams, well, there’s always next year. For some of us, it’s a literal promise, a year passes and things get better, and you walk into an electronics store and wander around, looking at the TVs knowing that if you really wanted, you could walk up to the wall of displays, point at a 48″, tell the guy behind the register “I’ll take that one” and mean it. You don’t, of course, but the fact that you could does wonders for your self-esteem.
When you’re a writer, you’ve got similar dreams, honestly, and yes, after a particularly fat royalty check coinciding with my tax refund, I had a moment just like the one above. Didn’t buy the TV, but I was walking on air because I could for about four days. Then there was a financial emergency and that money was wiped out in one fell swoop, but hey, there was always next year.
So I’ve been invited to a convention, might’ve mentioned it, it’s the Coastal Magic Convention for which I received an info packet this morning, most of my attention was on the panels and about 7 of them I would love to be on, 1 of them I would demand to be on, but for an author like myself, who doesn’t have a big budget and writes, let’s face it, pretty obscure fiction, having a convention organizer e-mail and say, “We’d love to have you down here” is mind-blowing and humbling and makes me feel like, “Damn, I’m really making it, aren’t I?” The fact that people outside my family and friends read my books is just flooring for me, especially when they take the time to e-mail me or post on my Facebook wall or read my essays on popular media.
And it’ll run about $850 to go. I’m pretty sure some will look at that number and wonder how that could be difficult to come up with, others will suck air through their teeth and mutter it might as well be ten grand. You’ll likely notice that I’ve disallowed comments for this entry, because posts like this tend to attract trolls, and I don’t feel like going over my monthly income and expenses, I’m not here to shame pirates (because that never ends well), and yes, I’ve opened for commissioned pieces in a few communities so I’ll be writing some dignity-shredding porn at a penny a word, no need to suggest it.
I’m doing this post because I’m tired of “there’s always next year”, I’m tired of putting off things in my life out of some thin hope things will get better if I can just survive another few months. It’s not about going to a convention for me, well, it is, but it’s also about finally having something good to look forward to, not hope for.
Send Vaughn To The Con Fund
Progress: $920/$850(Updated 6/19, 6:50am)
Donations will lead to a .pdf copy of The Last Paladin