Monthly Archives: October 2017

Hi, I’m Ace

The first time I suspected it was when I felt… *off* about watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother. In it, the protagonist, Ted, and his new girlfriend are discussing when they’re finally going to take their relationship “all the way”, as it were, and both confess their relative “dry spells”. They start with just “five”, leaving the rest to the imagination. Ted immediately feels relieved that he’s not alone. After all, how *embarrassing* it is to go without sex for five *months*! And then his girlfriend confesses she didn’t mean two months, she meant two…
And then there’s a smash cut to Ted’s friends all saying in complete shock, and in perfect unison, “FIVE YEARS?!?”
At that point it had been 6 years for me, about. Maybe 7. And I suddenly felt like I wasn’t allowed to call myself a man, especially not a gay man, because every gay man I’d seen in movies, video games, television shows, and in books, was either hypersexual, a flaming stereotype, or a pervy creeper. In any case, they were getting it regularly. Even the older gays on Grace and Frankie were getting it almost every night.
And there I was, in a committed relationship, co-habitating, and I wasn’t having sex. At all.

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