Tag Archives: essays

JMED: We Alive, Dammit: The Unbreakable Survivors of Kimmy Schmidt

The Show: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Principal Actors: Ellie Kemper, Tituss Burgess, Jane Krakowski

Creators: Tina Fey & Robert Carlock

Synopsis: Rescued after 15 years in a cult, Kimmy Schmidt decides to reclaim her life by venturing to New York, where she experiences everyday life with wide-eyed enthusiasm. On a whim, she rents a room from Titus, a gay wannabe Broadway actor, who makes ends meet as a street performer in Times Square. The unlikely pair find they’re well-suited to help each other out, with Titus reintroducing Kimmy to modern life, and her providing him with the inspiration that you should never give up. Together they’ll make it through whatever life throws at them.

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To My Hopefully Future Daughter


Right now there’s only the idea of you, but I first decided that I wanted you in my life before I even met your Papa. It was in grad school, I was at the library on a cold night, chilly and miserable and listening to MP3s when Weezer’s “My Name is Jonas” came on and it hit me that I wanted to be a father. I really wish I could describe something beautiful and poetic about the moment, imply that time just seemed to stop, and I did know it was an important moment otherwise I wouldn’t remember how rough and scratchy the damned couches were and that the wooden armrest was hard and unpadded and felt like it was cutting all circulation to my kidney. But know I’ve been chasing the idea of you since then, and you’ve always been tumbling around here and there, always a consideration, because if you ever feel like going through your Dad’s old blog entries for whatever reason you’ll read this and know you were wanted.  Hell, I even had your name picked out that night, a strong name that would grow with you as you grew up, because I want you to be strong. Life’s going to throw a fair bit of shit at you, and a person should be able to stand up afterward and still do the right thing. Anything else I tell you is going to sound obvious, but it’s hard-won advice that took a while to really sink in with me. Continue reading


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Justifying My English Degree: Here’re Your Flying Cars: The Livable Future of “The Fifth Element”

I put up on my Facebook that I was trying to decide between doing this one or WarGames, and since both got some interest, I’ll likely give a young Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy the JMED treatment next.

THE TRAILER: (Note: It’s a fan trailer, but IMO it’s far better than the original)

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Justifying My English Degree: Hollywood God: The Micromanaging Creator of “Last Holiday”

Some preface: This is one of my go-to movies when I’m sick or feeling down, and I’ve likely watched it more than most people. Its opening scene is one of the reasons I’ve taken an interest in cooking (though I’m still not very good at it), and I enjoy Queen Latifah as an actress.


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Cook and Serve

Words to live by, kids!

I’ll start with the standard Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers, and a Happy Thursday to everyone outside the U.S.

The following piece is a bit of a Thanksgiving tradition for me. I’ve posted the following essay every year in some way, shape or form every year since I wrote it, but before I get to it, a little backstory.  In 2007 I was taking Creative Non-Fiction, and our professor tasked us to write an essay describing an event in our lives in which we had been evil, an asshole, or generally refused to follow Wheaton’s Law. Most of us had little trouble pulling it off (we were all college students, after all), though most of the essays were “justifiable” evil. My own, I’ll let you be the judge, but to this day, I still don’t feel sorry about it, and I likely never were.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This is a story about pudding.


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